Entry #8: BURMA SHAVE

I know this isn’t Christmassy, but I needed a laugh.  Does anybody remember the old Burma Shave slogans from the 50s (before my time) that they used to put in succession along our U.S. highways?  Hope these little slogans tickle your “funny face” liked they tickled mine:

My job is                        The whale                           The ladies        
Keeping faces clean         Put Jonah                           Take one whiff
And nobody knows         Down the hatch                 And purr–
De stubble                       But coughed him up           It’s no wonder
I’ve seen                          Because he scratched          Men prefer
Burma-Shave                   Burma-Shave                      Burma-Shave

Soap                                My cheek                            Pat’s bristles
May do                            Says SHE                            Scratched
For lads with fuzz           Feels smooth as satin           Bridget’s nose
But sir, you ain’t             Ha! Ha! Says HE                That’s when
The kid you wuz            That’s mine you’re pattin’      Her wild Irish rose
Burma-Shave                    Burma-Shave                      Burma-Shave

I know                               A chin                                She put           
He’s a wolf                        Where barbed wire             A bullet
Said riding hood                 Bristles stand                      Thru his hat
But Grandma dear,             Is bound to be                    But he’s had
He smells so good              A no ma’ams land            Closer shaves than that
Burma-Shave                     Burma-Shave                     Burma-Shave

 

Dinah doesn’t                      The hero                            Within this vale
Treat him right                     Was brave and strong         Of toil             
But if he’d                            And willin’                          And sin
Shave                                  She felt his chin–               Your head grows bald
Dyna-mite!                          Then wed the villain            But not your chin
Burma-Shave                      Burma-Shave                     Burma-Shave

 

This cooling shave                At a quiz                           Use this cream 
Will never fail                       Pa ain’t                             A day
To stamp                             No whiz                            Or two
Its user                                But he knows how             Then don’t call her– 
First class male                    To keep Ma his                 She’ll call you
Burma-Shave                       Burma-Shave                    Burma-Shave
 

I’d have loved to have worked for Burma Shave’s advertising department.  Weren’t those good?  Comments please.

Published in:  on December 10, 2006 at 11:36 pm Comments (14)

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14 Comments Leave a comment.

  1. Before my time, but thanks for that anyway!

    Mention of Burma though made me think of the plight of the Burmese people!

    God bless
    Maria in the UK
    http://www.inhishands.co.uk

  2. Hi Tommy, These are all so funny. I remember seeing Burma-Shave ads along the road as a child. But I don’t recall any of the specific slogans. My favorite is “A chin/ Where barbed wire/ Bristles stand/ Is bound to be/ A no ma’am’s land.” But reality is (just the facts ma’am) facial hair inproves any man’s looks! :-)

  3. Maria: Before my time too! AND, I’ll have to study on the Burmese plight! I also updated my entry to say U.S. roads (to show Burma shave is something “peculiar” to our national heritage).
    Helen: I like the clean shaven look myself (to me, it’s more becoming to my outward Christian profession), though I let myself go sometimes for a day or 2, rarely 3–usually when I know I’m going to be indoors and not seen by a lot of people. (LOL)

  4. HAHA!! Those were funny adds, although I don’t think I’ve ever heard of them before.

    OKAY!! I found this funny thing off Shirley Buxtons blog…this guy is trying to sing “Oh Holy Night,” but they call it “Oh Holy Cow” instead. It’s HORRIBLE!!!! Just go to her blog and follow the link to get there.

    Hope you’re having a good day today!!

    Jen :D

  5. Jen: I listened to it. It was HORRIBLY funny! HA! I’m having a good day. I got almost everything I wanted to do DONE today. Now I can start writing out some Christmas cards! Hey, what did you order for the Christmas banquet???

  6. Well, I’ll be shorn! What a funny post, Tom. You are on the cutting edge.
    Haw!

    Love,

    ‘lynnie

  7. I got the Chicken…hehe…I LAUGHED badly when I heard that song…I listened to it about 3 or 4 times, and I’m about to listen to it again… :lol:

  8. Just wondering, Tommy. But what is your “outward Christian profession” and how is being clean-shaven “becoming to it”??? I mean, I never heard of divorcing the gospel from a man’s beard before. It was God’s idea that hair grow on a man’s chin, right? :-) And I can’t recall any commandment telling men to shave. Isn’t it just your personal preference? LOL

  9. Helen: Here is a site that kind of sums up what I believe are the true representations of inner and outer holiness standards. See what you think. It’s not too long. Tom
    http://www.upci.org/doctrine/modesty.asp

  10. Thanks, Tom. It makes sense to me.

  11. Helen: I hope I would never JUDGE anyone by the outward alone. That’s why in my response to you, I wrote, “To me . . .” In some ways, we have to judge (in what is best for US) for OUR OWN Christian walk. Then, there are absolutes too. However, ULTIMATELY, GOD IS JUDGE OF US–of our works, the paths we’ve pursued, and it’s Him we have to try to please. (I sense you feel that way.) GOD BLESS!!!

  12. Hey everyone. I’ve changed my avitar. OK?

  13. OK! I noticed!! You don’t look as mischievous anymore.

  14. [...] Shave slogans from the 50s (before my time) that they used to put … Burma-Shave Burma-Shave Burma-Shave. I know A chin She put … Take one whiff And purr It s no wonder Men prefer Burma-Shave Lotion. – more – [...]


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