Entry #9—My Very Own Burma Shave Slogans

I wrote some of my own Burma Shave slogans.  I’m hoping to do something more “seasonal” on a future post.  Stay tuned.

Babies know the secret
Of avoiding the tomb
It’s in staying as smooth
As when birthed from the womb
Burma Shave!

The butter-smooth cheeks
Of lovely Lorraine
She wouldn’t let him kiss
(His were coarser than grain)
Burma Shave!

To the skirt of his garment
It should’ve easily veered
But the precious ointment “caught”
On Aaron’s uncut beard
Burma Shave!

We all know the reason
Why Peter sank in SEA
The hair on his face
Was where hair OUGHT NOT BE
BURMA SHAVE!

He tried to save time
He tried to save FACE
But until he tried this
He had NO SAVING GRACE
BURMA SHAVE! Birma from Burma
Was bearded and BASE
Then Birma bought this
And Birma saved FACE
BURMA SHAVE!

YES, Einstein’s head hair
Grew faster and FASTER
But his frizzy face
Was a frazzled DISASTER
Burma Shave!

The face on our belov-ed
American penny
Would shine so much brighter
If Abe used this aplenty
BURMA SHAVE!

She forgot not Grant
She forgot not LEE
I forgot shaving
She forgot ME
BURMA SHAVE!

Men who are cooks
Aren’t as good as they SEEM
They remember their eggs
But oft forget CRÈME
BURMA SHAVE!

Why all the fuss
About using GILETTE?
I know a brand
That’s a better one YET
BURMA SHAVE!

There’s a lot of talk
’Bout the signs of the TIMES
But have you seen the signs
’Bout the Burma Shave RHYMES?
BURMA SHAVE!

Don’t put on a mask
Don’t put on an AIR
Just put THIS STUFF on
You’ll be suave and DEBONAIR
BURMA SHAVE!

Oh say can you see
By the dawn’s early light
What so proudly we hail
A facial DELITE
BURMA SHAVE!

Jael brought forth butter
In a lordly DISH
But she’d gotten Sisera sooner
Had she brought HIS REAL WISH
BURMA SHAVE!

AND THAT’S ALL FOLKS!  Whatchya thaink?